Fortunately, even after I factor out those attempts, there is still plenty of grist for the mill. Too much, in fact: at last check my file contained 363 items to muse over. Included are lots of ideas that either don't warrant the full treatment, or once I dig into them turn out to be shallower than first thought. That doesn't make them of less interest, just harder to spin into a full sweater. And so in the spirit of Andy Rooney ("Did ya ever think about electrical outlets?"), following are some short takes that might make better tweets than blogs.
I understand that the world is a busy place. But every time I flip past a news channel there is a graphic up that says "Breaking News." Now, I understand that something is always happening somewhere, just like it's always time for a drink somewhere. However, news by definition is "new," so it's always breaking. So you can't have it both ways: all news is breaking, or none of it is. And if it all is, why have a graphic for only some of it? OK, I'm done.
Name a cause or an idea or a thing, and there's bound to be an organization of like-minded individuals to support it. Planned Parenthood. Make-a-Wish Foundation. The International Star Trek Fan Association. If you create it, they will join. And while it may not be your thing, it is somebody's. Still, I'm not sure about the Vitamin D Council. This registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization "educates patients, families, doctors and health professionals on vitamin D and safe, sensible sun exposure to improve the quality and longevity of lives." Good, I guess. One can only imagine their yearly confab, with lots of milk and sunscreen.
I understand (at least I think I do) how some people like to live out loud on Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms. And if that's your thing, enjoy. As for me, I'm more stalker than poster, occasionally perusing the services to see pictures of kids or vacations or something you've baked. But stick to your orbit. Yes, Prince Harry and soon-to-be Duchess Meghan are all the rage. But why post "Congrats to the happy couple!" as if you are in any way connected? Unless you're expecting an invite from Buckingham palace, stick with congratulating your Aunt Jennifer on finishing 5th in her age group at the Woodland Hills 5K.
Not everything new has a plug on it. But that doesn't mean it's not hitech. Take NewBrick, "the biggest innovation in brick." Not really brick, but a hard-cell foam base with a wire mesh cover and a ceramic finish, each unit looks like a traditional clay brick, but with more durability and less weight. That means architects can get the look they want, contractors can install more faster, and end users pay less. As of this writing, no word whether Apple is creating an iBrick.
A while back I had a bout of dizziness. A visit to the doctor ruled out anything serious, and I've learned not to put my head below my waist. When the insurance form came through, it had a diagnosis code of R42. That turns out to refer to a balance disorder. But while the technical description was "vertigo" the notes described it as "accompanied by feelings of giddiness." And the definition of "giddiness" is "a state of excitable frivolity." As my head was spinning, I can assure you there was no frivolity in play.
Those are just some of the tidbits in the vault. Even after putting a check mark next to each of those, I still count 358 other possibilities, with more coming every day. And so next week join me back here as we look at robot garbage men, DNA Spray or maybe the trends in tattoos. So much to think about, so little time.
Marc Wollin of Bedford keeps finding things to write about. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.