First Name Basis

If you wanted to buy a toy in 1922 you might pick a Flossy Flirt Doll, whose key feature was that her eyes could roll up and down. You could select a Tim the Tinker Toy Boy, which was made of smooth wooden balls threaded together with strong string. Or you could opt for the original Teddy Bear, so called because it was named after President Theodore Roosevelt's appearance in a cartoon where he was pictured refusing to kill a baby black bear. 

You could also buy Radio Rex, which was a brown bulldog made of celluloid and metal who lived in a wooden house with a red roof and his name on the front. What made Rex stand out from the others was not his design, which was pretty basic. What was unique was a small electromagnet in his house which was activated by sound. Say "Rex!" loud enough and a switch holding the magnet released, popping Rex out to take a walk. Simply put, his appearance was based on the sound of your voice. And so you could make a case that nearly 90 years before Siri drew her first breath Radio Rex was the first voice assistant.

These days we're on a first name basis with more and more electronic helpers. However, as opposed to HAL, the all-powerful and brilliant servant who turns deadly in "2001: A Space Odyssey," today's assistants are mostly simple beings with vast knowledge and limited skill sets. Ask them the crop yield of Namibia or the time of the next sunset and you'll get an answer back in seconds. But ask them to send an email or start dinner or and you'll either get "Sorry, I can't do that" or just as likely "Millard Fillmore was the 13th president of the United States." 

Still, if you are of a mind, more and more of your interactions with services and suppliers can be based on voice input, with all the good and the bad that that brings. To be sure, convenience is certainly a factor: no need to type or unlock anything. All you do is speak, and your new friend will respond. Want to know the balance in your checking account? Erica, the online assistant from Bank of America, will happily oblige. If you're an employee at Walmart, you can "Ask Sam" to pull up store maps, look up prices and locate products for customers (a shopper version is in the works). Windows users have Cortana, and Samsung aficionados have Bixby. Each listens intently and tries to do your bidding, which is likely more than you get from anyone else in your household.

The big dogs are Siri, Alexa, and the nomenclature-challenged Assistant from Google. What they do it is truly remarkable: they listen, convert that sound into bits, blast that query to some data center halfway around the globe, solve for the ask, then blast it back and reconvert it back into speech, all within seconds. If the result was close even 10% of the time it would be amazing. The fact that your lights get turned on or you pull up that Elton John track or you get the weather for the weekend 90% of the time is nothing short of magic.

As they become more ubiquitous, however, they can start to feel like you have a precocious and nosy child in the house. You find yourself whispering around them, less you trigger them to become part of the conversation. A friend who is a talented musician posted a video about her new track and sent me a link. I called it up: in it she says "Ask Alexa to play the new Claudia Hayden track!" Well, MY Alexa heard her, jumped to Spotify and up came "Central Park West." Was it subliminal control, advertising, or happy coincidence?  Either way, it's a great tune.

And that will happen more and more. Wake words be dammed, if you can say it they will do it. But take pity on that poor subset of individuals whose folks thought they were naming their daughters after a character in the TV show "Party of Five" or Barbie's best friend in the movie "The Diamond Castle." Ask those Alexas what the weather will be, and they just might give you a forecast for a place where the sun don't shine.

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Marc Wollin of Bedford is trying to recognize his own speech. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

First Time Caller

 All the new neighbors were checking in. Michael Carpentino called, then Maria Rockwood. Just before that it was Barry Grossbaum, David Solomon and Janet McErlean. And not be left out we also heard from Indra Dube, Charles Brown and John Loveless. Another new person called a few times, as well: I guess whatever they had to say must have been important as they kept trying. The caller ID for 914-234-5147? First name "Probably," last name "Fraud."

Of late our phone has been ringing off the hook. I wish I could say it's because we were so popular, and everyone wants to talk. But just as the Delta variant has fueled a rise in infections, the current state of the pandemic has also pushed up another infestation with a less lethal but more annoying profile, the scourge of robocalls using local numbers and fictitious neighbors.

While there have always been unsolicited sales and scam calls, ever since the deregulation of the phone system and the move to computer-based telecommunications the problem has exploded. As of this writing 2021 was on pace to reach 51.5 billion robocalls, a big jump from 2020 (45.9 billion), and closing in on 2019's record tally of 58.5 billion, up 22% from the year before. The reason for the dip was, like almost everything else over the last 16 months, the effects of COVID. Yes, more people were at home to answer the phone, but call centers had been shut down or their head count severely restricted due to quarantines and social distancing. And there's no point in asking people to "Press 1 to be connected to an agent" when there are no agents to be connected to. 

Still, the economics mean that that whatever the health situation robocalls are not going away without a fight. For very little investment the returns are impressive. As an example, you can buy 125,000 minutes of robocalls for $875 from Message Communications Inc., one suppler who has already been fined by the government. If a person listens for just three seconds to one of their calls, that $875 would equate to 2.5 million calls, with a single penny buying 28 spam calls. Even if just one out of every 10,000 calls of those calls turns into an actual lead, at the going rate of $7 per lead, just an hour of robocalls nets $1,750 in revenue, or over 100% return on the initial investment. 

Various strategies have been tried to combat the onslaught, but it's basically a game of whack-a-mole, though as Aaron Foss, the founder of anti-spam call company Nomorobo says, "Whack-a-mole is fun, fighting robocallers isn't." Do Not Call lists and selective legal prosecution help. And third-party software fixes like Foss' can be effective: his company claims it has stopped 2 billion robocalls since it was started in 2013. But with so many spammers located overseas in places with less than robust legal systems and regulation, it's a losing battle. 

Some help may be on the way in the form of a new technology being rolled out as we speak. The FCC is implementing a new system obviously designed by a James Bond aficionado. Called Secure Telephone Identity Revisited and Signature-based Handling of Asserted Information Using Tokens, it is better known in the industry by its acronym, STIR/SHAKEN. The idea is to force the networks that carry the calls to beef up authentication and verification of caller ID information for calls carried over computer based networks. That means the Verizon and AT&T will now be responsible for insuring that when your neighbor's name pops up on your screen that it really is coming from the house down the street, and not from a warehouse of servers in Uzbekistan. 

Still, just as the rest of us are getting back to work so are the spammers. Short of ripping your phone out of the wall, there's not a lot you can do that is truly effective. With the cost of making the calls so low and the threat of prosecution so remote, expect your phone to keep on ringing. In fact, there goes ours again. Another local number and another call from Holly Ash or Frank Rocco or Jeffery Maron. I never knew so many neighbors wanted to have a word.

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Marc Wollin of Bedford doesn't answer the phone unless it's his wife, mother or kids. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

Now Hiring

In spite of a continuing improvement in the job numbers, much has been written these days about the labor imbalance. While the trend is getting better, many are still out of work, driven primarily by various COVID issues and the shift from in-person work to remote. At the same time any number of employers are having problems finding people willing to take existing jobs, with seasonal businesses, retail and restaurants especially hard hit. Contributing factors include those same COVID issues, as well as lack of foreign workers due to travel restrictions, and working conditions and wages in those mostly blue collar areas. The steadily improving numbers do seem to forecast that it will likely work itself out (no pun intended), but it will take time. Or perhaps as paraphrased by an old Johnny Mathias song, there's both too much and too little, and hopefully it will be resolved not too late.

That doesn't mean that the job market is stagnant, just shifting. Truth be told it always has: as the economy has evolved so too have the opportunities within it. A hundred years ago the predominant industries were manufacturing, and there was no better ticket to the middle class than a factory job. These days those industries have mostly moved overseas, and what's left is but a tiny fraction of the overall market, with the service industry dominating the landscape. And as accelerated by the pandemic remote work of all kinds is growing, from tech support to customer assistance to sales. 

As to the most desirable jobs, that has morphed as well. In the 1960's doctors or pilots were top of the heap, in the 80's and 90's it was a job on Wall Street, and more recently almost anything in the tech industry. What has made jobs take that top slot has also changed. Compensation is always a factor, to be sure. But other qualities have come into play, with the current hot buttons including things like schedule flexibility, the ability to work remotely and a first-hand or personal connection to the industry.

In that light comes a job posting from the world's largest spice maker McCormick. Known for flavorings and seasonings in their distinctive red topped packages, their products are a staple in kitchens, whether it be a bottle of vanilla or a shaker of oregano. Most of the company's 13,000 employees have jobs of the traditional sort: engineers and researchers, marketing and HR specialists, admins and material handlers. But one of their most recent postings might play right into your own personal sweet spot, the one where you work on your own following you own schedule in an area where you have a passion: Director of Taco Relations.

A four-month posting starting September 1, the DTR will do more than just work on Taco Tuesdays. Per the posting on the company's site, the job is open to all experience levels, and while a previous job in the food service industry is not a prerequisite, one should have "a deep love of tacos." Responsibilities include keeping tabs on taco trends, taste testing and consulting on inspirational and approachable taco formulations and sharing "out of the box yet approachable taco recipes for breakfast, lunch and dinner." While most of the work can be done remotely and via virtual meetings, there is a requirement to "visit the McCormick HQ in Hunt Valley, Maryland to become familiar with the team and have taco immersion (and eating) sessions." For your time and expertise the company will compensate you with McCormick taco seasonings and other products, as well as up to $25,000 per 20 hours of work per month. That should keep you in salsa.

If you consider one of the great discussion points in life as to whether a hard or soft shell is superior, this just might be up your alley. As for me, I am more a burrito guy, and so wouldn't likely make the short list. But that doesn't mean I don't have my eye out for similar opportunities in related fields. I need to work my LinkedIn contacts and see who I know at Hershey's. For should Reese's post a job for Director of Peanut Butter Cup QC, not only am I highly qualified, but I would likely pay them just to get the business card.

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Marc Wollin of Bedford is a peanutbutterholic. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

Safe Snow

With the fires in the western US, flooding in Germany and mudslides in Colorado, even those who have their doubts about climate change are being forced to acknowledge that something is happening. True, there will always be those deniers like Senator James Inhofe, who famously brought a snowball to the floor of Congress in February of 2015 to demonstrate that it still gets cold in the winter. One assumes he used the same logic to pronounce that since he had an easy commute home that night that traffic has been tamed.

Beyond that small set of individuals most believe that the planet is indeed warming. Nearly all active publishing climate scientists, a number hovering around 97%, support the strong scientific consensus that the Earth's temperature is going up and that this warming is mainly caused by human activities. Even those who take issue with that number acknowledge that it might "only" be around 80%. In the general population the number is closer to 60%, but if you remove the "who dun it: nature vs nurture?" argument, you start to see numbers nearing 90% of people who agree that global warming is indeed happening, and we will have to figure out some way to deal with it.

The big question is "what?" The aspirational goals of "cut emissions" and "remove CO2" and "develop alternative energy" all sound laudable, but they will take time if they happen at all. In the meantime we're left coping with the effects of stuff that doesn't happen fast, meaning a need for urgency isn't readily apparent. Additionally, many of the actions we can take on a personal level are cursed by the double whammy of being seemingly insignificant while also inconvenient. Yes, we can indeed save trees and reduce landfills by bringing our own reusable bags to the grocery store, but it's annoying. Added to all that is the hypocrisy of those who may articulate reasonable ideas, but do so at exclusive conferences reached by private jets.

Still, being unable to make obvious impacts in a short period of time should not stop us from trying to do anything. Witness the actions of Pontedilegno-Tonale, a ski resort in northern Italy. While its spectacular scenery, hiking and mountain biking trails help it draw tourists all year round, the place is built on winter sports. With 4 different ski areas, 41 slopes covering 100 kilometers, and 28 lifts, it attracts families and experts alike. And its location atop the Presena Glacier in the Alps means that it has the climate to operate those trails from autumn to spring.

That location also means that global warming is more than just an inconvenience, but a true threat to their very existence. The reason is simple: warmth and snow just don't go together, with the result being that since 1993 the glacier has lost one third of its volume. So as the cold season gets shorter and the summer gets hotter they decided they had to do something to protect the very ground on which the place is built, or more correctly, the very glacier. In your case if the sun is too strong you put on sunscreen; in their case, they put on tarps. 

Big white ones, and lots of them. Starting with a trial run in 2008, they have added more covering each year to prevent the snow from melting. Workers unroll long strips, each 77 yards long by 5 yards wide down the slopes, then sew them together to keep warm breezes from drifting underneath, and weigh it all down with sandbags. It takes about 6 weeks to spool it out, the same to remove it come fall. When it started 13 years ago they covered about 30,000 square meters; they're now up to 100,000. And it seems to work: tests show that putting a topper over the snow and ice reduced melting by 60%.

As we're seeing with flooded subways from New York to China, and smoke clouds in the east from fires in the west, the effects are impacting more and more people, not just those living on exposed shore lines or frozen ground. Mark Twain famously said "If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death." Well, it seems to be going in the other direction, but unless we do something the end results may be the same.

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Marc Wollin of Bedford needs to do more. Period. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.