Saturday, December 29, 2012

If Walls Could Talk

The end of any December is filled with lists, lists and more lists, and this year is no exception. Best books. Biggest movers in the stock market. Most influential ethnic groups that the Republicans forgot about. But my fav is the best quotes of the year. There are top tech quotes, like the one where Thorsten Heins, the CEO of the company that makes Blackberry, shoots for the moon:  "We have a clear shot at being the No. 3 platform in the market." In entertainment, a promise from singer Adele to stop writing so many breakup songs: "I'm done with being a bitter witch." Or in sports, words from LeBron James on finally winning an NBA title: "It's about damn time."

The top quote, of course, is Mitt Romney's 47% comment, one that depending on your point of view, either uttered a very inconvenient yet important truth, and/or exposed his true feelings. In either case, it proved that words can and do make a difference, as it was widely credited or blamed for being a significant factor in his loss and Obama's re-election. And while most of the most notable quotes for the year did indeed revolve around politics and the election, there were a few outliers. There's the one from South Korean rapper PSY, repeated endlessly: "Gangnam Style." Or the call socialite Jill Kelley (she of the David Petraeus scandal) made to a 911 operator in Tampa, Florida, as to why the cops should rush over to protect her from the media crews circling her house: "I'm an honorary consul general, so I have inviolability."

What you don't see are the quotes that didn't make the list. Or more to the point, the quotes that came before the quotes that made the list. Therefore, as a public service, herein are the unpublished words that only flies on the walls heard, and now you too.

"What's the worse they can do to me? Throw me in jail again? Not gonna happen." – Actress Lindsay Lohan.

"It's just the first debate. I'm sure if I just lay back, he'll hang himself." – Barack Obama.

"Look, if we hang tough, we'll have to cancel four, maybe five games. Then the players will cave, and it'll be over!" - NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman

"So maybe 10% are old people. Let's call it 8% unemployed. About 28% have low incomes. Throw in another 1% of miscellaneous. So let's see: eight and eight and one is 17. Carry the one, add that to two and one. So we're talking, what? Give or take, about 47%?" - Deputy Romney Campaign Manager Katie Packer Gage.

"It'll be great! We'll have not one, but two, count ‘em, two world-class quarterbacks! Opponents won't know which way we're going to go! What could go wrong?" – Jets Coach Rex Ryan.

"I like Mitt a lot, but it comes down to this: I've always wanted to ride on Air Force One. And to top it off, the Boss will meet us in Asbury Park. Would you say no?" – Governor Chris Christie.

"Don't worry about it. I'll just go out there and tell the country how I feel about him, and make the case for his election. By the way: can you find an empty chair I can take with me in case I get tired?" – Clint Eastwood.

"We'll add room for a fifth row of icons, and call it iPhone 5. Revolutionary enough?" –Chin Pae Hark, Apple developer.

"He has to give in on taxes. We've compromised as much as we can. Let's see what he says now." President Barack Obama.

"He has to give in on taxes. We've compromised as much as we can. Let's see what he says now." Speaker of the House John Boehner.

"Yes, your Majesty, you will parachute into the stadium with James Bond. No, your Majesty, it hasn't been Sean Connery for a quite a while." – Danny Boyle, Director of the opening ceremonies for the London Olympics.


Marc Wollin of Bedford loves a good quote. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. 

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