I was a lab rat.
Those in charge wouldn't describe it that way, but that's what it came down to. It's not like I was asked to be in the experiment. Nor was I offered a cash incentive or signed a waiver. But simply by virtue of the calendar and my movements, I was tagged and sent into the maze. I can only hope that my pursuit of the cheese will benefit the rest of mankind. Or to paraphrase those appearing before the emperor Claudius, we who are about to sit down salute you.
I will say I was at least informed, having received several emails from United. Seems that for 30 days starting in February, those passing through Los Angeles International Airport via that carrier would be part of a new boarding scheme. The idea was to get people on the plane as quickly as possible, reducing crowding at the gate and time on the ground. As in gun control, abortion rights and calories on fast food menus, there are various approaches purporting to be correct. And also like those areas, trying to find a workable solution is roughly akin to finding the Holy Grail.
However, in this particular instance there is an actual "right" answer. Turns out it really is rocket science, or at least the solution was concocted by an astrophysicist. Dr. Jason Steffen, currently a Fellow at the Center for Interdisciplinary Exploration and Research in Astrophysics at Northwestern University, was noodling around this problem for a few years in his spare time trying to figure out how to move all those people onto a plane as efficiently as possible. Based on his experience in just such a queue when traveling to an academic conference, he applied a "Markov Chain Monte Carlo optimization algorithm" to the problem along with some computer simulation. His eventual answer, after allowing families with little kids on first, involved loading every other row of window seats on one side, followed by the same on the other side. After that he fills in the open rows, then does the same with middle seats and aisles. And it's not just a theory: the idea was tested on the web series, "This vs That," and beat 5 other variants.
But the Steffen method ignores several real world issues. Groups traveling together, especially parents with kids, would not be thrilled about splitting up. Those with any kind of status, be they preferred credit card holders or million-milers that didn't get bumped up would be equally un-thrilled about lining up with the teeming masses, never mind that they would get seated quicker and off faster. It echoes those aforementioned social issues where we all urge others to compromise, as long as our own point-of-view doesn't have to change.
In my particular Skinner Box, this "new" approach meant having just the first two of five groups line up to board. The rest could "relax and remain comfortably seated until called." While groups one and two were made up of First, Business and Priority customers, the remaining groups were indeed supposedly broken out by windows, middles and aisles, echoing at least a part of Dr. Steffen's approach. And if nothing else, not having 5 simultaneous lines of straining passengers at least gave the appearance of order and a more leisurely process.
Being in group two meant I was on, stowed and seated early, and so didn't get to witness first-hand how things progressed at the gate. I can say that we were indeed loaded a good number of minutes before our departure time, and took off promptly. Whether that was because of the new system, or the fact that the flight was a red eye back to New York, it was late and we all just wanted to settle in and go to sleep is a matter of debate. Likely it was a combination of the two, though the results were the same.
As of this writing they are still experimenting at LAX. But if on a future trip you walk up to the gate, and see just two lanes as opposed to the usual five, have a seat. That means that the plan was validated and it works. You should thank the scientist who figured it out, as well as the rats that ran the maze. To that, both Dr. Steffen and I say you're welcome.
-END-
Marc Wollin of Bedford flies more than some, less than others. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.
Those in charge wouldn't describe it that way, but that's what it came down to. It's not like I was asked to be in the experiment. Nor was I offered a cash incentive or signed a waiver. But simply by virtue of the calendar and my movements, I was tagged and sent into the maze. I can only hope that my pursuit of the cheese will benefit the rest of mankind. Or to paraphrase those appearing before the emperor Claudius, we who are about to sit down salute you.
I will say I was at least informed, having received several emails from United. Seems that for 30 days starting in February, those passing through Los Angeles International Airport via that carrier would be part of a new boarding scheme. The idea was to get people on the plane as quickly as possible, reducing crowding at the gate and time on the ground. As in gun control, abortion rights and calories on fast food menus, there are various approaches purporting to be correct. And also like those areas, trying to find a workable solution is roughly akin to finding the Holy Grail.
However, in this particular instance there is an actual "right" answer. Turns out it really is rocket science, or at least the solution was concocted by an astrophysicist. Dr. Jason Steffen, currently a Fellow at the Center for Interdisciplinary Exploration and Research in Astrophysics at Northwestern University, was noodling around this problem for a few years in his spare time trying to figure out how to move all those people onto a plane as efficiently as possible. Based on his experience in just such a queue when traveling to an academic conference, he applied a "Markov Chain Monte Carlo optimization algorithm" to the problem along with some computer simulation. His eventual answer, after allowing families with little kids on first, involved loading every other row of window seats on one side, followed by the same on the other side. After that he fills in the open rows, then does the same with middle seats and aisles. And it's not just a theory: the idea was tested on the web series, "This vs That," and beat 5 other variants.
But the Steffen method ignores several real world issues. Groups traveling together, especially parents with kids, would not be thrilled about splitting up. Those with any kind of status, be they preferred credit card holders or million-milers that didn't get bumped up would be equally un-thrilled about lining up with the teeming masses, never mind that they would get seated quicker and off faster. It echoes those aforementioned social issues where we all urge others to compromise, as long as our own point-of-view doesn't have to change.
In my particular Skinner Box, this "new" approach meant having just the first two of five groups line up to board. The rest could "relax and remain comfortably seated until called." While groups one and two were made up of First, Business and Priority customers, the remaining groups were indeed supposedly broken out by windows, middles and aisles, echoing at least a part of Dr. Steffen's approach. And if nothing else, not having 5 simultaneous lines of straining passengers at least gave the appearance of order and a more leisurely process.
Being in group two meant I was on, stowed and seated early, and so didn't get to witness first-hand how things progressed at the gate. I can say that we were indeed loaded a good number of minutes before our departure time, and took off promptly. Whether that was because of the new system, or the fact that the flight was a red eye back to New York, it was late and we all just wanted to settle in and go to sleep is a matter of debate. Likely it was a combination of the two, though the results were the same.
As of this writing they are still experimenting at LAX. But if on a future trip you walk up to the gate, and see just two lanes as opposed to the usual five, have a seat. That means that the plan was validated and it works. You should thank the scientist who figured it out, as well as the rats that ran the maze. To that, both Dr. Steffen and I say you're welcome.
-END-
Marc Wollin of Bedford flies more than some, less than others. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.
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