Agnes Callamard is an expert on international and human rights with degrees from universities on three continents. But it's not her title as the Director of the Global Freedom of Expression Project at Columbia University that gives one pause, nor her additional moniker as Special Advisor to the President of the school, though each is impressive on its face. No, the title she has that knocks you over is the one she wields as the lead author of reports such as her most recent one for the UN on the Khashoggi murder: Special Rapporteur for Extrajudicial, Summary or Arbitrary Executions.
In a world of ID's, that one sure makes a business card come alive. But it doesn't take such a high profile job to have a title that that raises eyebrows. A recent article in the New York Times about the difficulty of telling apart hens from roosters when they are just chicks talked about the highly skilled professionals who make that call. After all, the egg industry relies on knowing which is which, something not obvious with hatchlings when they emerge from the shell. To do so requires those trained in the ability to distinguish a minute bump on a specific membrane in the baby fluffballs. And so don't even think of applying for the job if your card doesn't say Experienced Chicken Sexer.
For most of us the subhead under our names is likely far more pedestrian. Our functional titles relate to what we do and is likely straightforward, no different than a plumber or an electrician or a mechanic. To be clear, there is no shame in calling yourself an Analyst or Researcher or Assistant. Just don't expect a lot of people to want to chat you up at cocktail parties.
But it doesn't have to be that way. Just as with company and product names, you might take a title that will make others sit up and take notice, or at least give them pause as they try and figure out what you actually do. At the simplest that means swapping out Human Resources Professional for People Officer. You still have the same office, same responsibilities, same cafeteria access. But while the first sounds like it's from the era of "Mad Men," the later seems more like it's part of a company that spells its name with no vowels.
Lots of examples abound. Sure, there are those list themselves as Software Developer or Website Director or Chief Writer. But others have made the upgrade, and have transitioned to Design Ninja or Digital Overlord or Director of Storytelling. The responsibilities of the later are the same as the former. But the second set of names invokes a sense of the future with a tongue-in-cheek sensibility that says we are really into what we do and we like doing it. In that same vein one company calls the receptionist who greets people as they step off the elevator the Director of First Impressions. And they're not wrong.
So what should you call yourself? It comes down to figuring out what you do, and how best to present that. In my own case, as a person who is self-employed, chief among my responsibilities is working on projects and getting new ones. But I also pay vendors and balance the coming-ins and the going-outs to make sure all is in harmony, or at least close to it. I do file management on older project materials, and tech maintenance to keep all my gear updated. I glance through articles online about new techniques, as well as order office supplies from Amazon. And although not as often as I should, I straighten up around my office and empty the shredder. If you're keeping score, that makes me Head of Operations, Chief of Sales, Head Bookkeeper, Archive Director, Head of IT, Chief Strategy Officer, Procurement Officer, and Head Janitor. Too much for any one card.
But all of those are trying to make a silk title from a sow's job. I need to find another pursuit which will bestow upon me better nomenclature. I should follow the example of my wife's friend Betsy. While she may be an Athletic Coach, that's not the title I admire. It's the one she has as part of a sideline interest, one which elevates her to a person you just need to know: Connecticut Pickleball Ambassador.
-END-
Marc Wollin of Bedford wears many hats, some better than others. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.
In a world of ID's, that one sure makes a business card come alive. But it doesn't take such a high profile job to have a title that that raises eyebrows. A recent article in the New York Times about the difficulty of telling apart hens from roosters when they are just chicks talked about the highly skilled professionals who make that call. After all, the egg industry relies on knowing which is which, something not obvious with hatchlings when they emerge from the shell. To do so requires those trained in the ability to distinguish a minute bump on a specific membrane in the baby fluffballs. And so don't even think of applying for the job if your card doesn't say Experienced Chicken Sexer.
For most of us the subhead under our names is likely far more pedestrian. Our functional titles relate to what we do and is likely straightforward, no different than a plumber or an electrician or a mechanic. To be clear, there is no shame in calling yourself an Analyst or Researcher or Assistant. Just don't expect a lot of people to want to chat you up at cocktail parties.
But it doesn't have to be that way. Just as with company and product names, you might take a title that will make others sit up and take notice, or at least give them pause as they try and figure out what you actually do. At the simplest that means swapping out Human Resources Professional for People Officer. You still have the same office, same responsibilities, same cafeteria access. But while the first sounds like it's from the era of "Mad Men," the later seems more like it's part of a company that spells its name with no vowels.
Lots of examples abound. Sure, there are those list themselves as Software Developer or Website Director or Chief Writer. But others have made the upgrade, and have transitioned to Design Ninja or Digital Overlord or Director of Storytelling. The responsibilities of the later are the same as the former. But the second set of names invokes a sense of the future with a tongue-in-cheek sensibility that says we are really into what we do and we like doing it. In that same vein one company calls the receptionist who greets people as they step off the elevator the Director of First Impressions. And they're not wrong.
So what should you call yourself? It comes down to figuring out what you do, and how best to present that. In my own case, as a person who is self-employed, chief among my responsibilities is working on projects and getting new ones. But I also pay vendors and balance the coming-ins and the going-outs to make sure all is in harmony, or at least close to it. I do file management on older project materials, and tech maintenance to keep all my gear updated. I glance through articles online about new techniques, as well as order office supplies from Amazon. And although not as often as I should, I straighten up around my office and empty the shredder. If you're keeping score, that makes me Head of Operations, Chief of Sales, Head Bookkeeper, Archive Director, Head of IT, Chief Strategy Officer, Procurement Officer, and Head Janitor. Too much for any one card.
But all of those are trying to make a silk title from a sow's job. I need to find another pursuit which will bestow upon me better nomenclature. I should follow the example of my wife's friend Betsy. While she may be an Athletic Coach, that's not the title I admire. It's the one she has as part of a sideline interest, one which elevates her to a person you just need to know: Connecticut Pickleball Ambassador.
-END-
Marc Wollin of Bedford wears many hats, some better than others. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.
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