Saturday, January 11, 2020

No Common Foe

The problem is we can't agree on a bad guy. 

It used to be simple. We started with the British. Then the Indians. We cycled through France, Mexico and Spain. We turned inward for a while, and ripped the place apart ourselves. After that we returned to the international stage with the aforementioned antagonists, looping back to the Indians whenever we were running out of ideas. 

Looking for a bigger stage we joined with our former enemies above to battle the Germans (twice), then the Koreans (North only, please). Tiring of large scale conflicts, we mixed it up with little guys (Cuba, Haiti, Vietnam), then dipped our toe into the Middle East. And just to keep us sharp we kept the Cold War on the back burner, turning up the temperature every now again, then lowering the heat to a slow simmer. 

But now we'll all mixed up. We used to hate Japan. Dropped big bombs on them and all that. The came the Walkman and Discman and we couldn't buy enough of their stuff. Same with the Germans. The root of all evil is now the most stable place in Europe, plus they make great cars. Vietnam? The Paris of Southeast Asia, not to mention the tee shirt capital of the world. Cuba? A cancer within our own hemisphere, but then there was the Buena Vista Social Club and all those classic cars. And China? Talk about a love/hate relationship. Our biggest economic enemy, but boy do they know how to make an iPhone. 

It gets muddier with the current occupant of the White House. What was up is down and down is up. Russia? Our sworn enemy, except when it isn't. Ukraine? Either totally corrupt regime, or patsy being played by the puppet master to the north. North Korea? A rogue state when it's not the guy we fell in love with. On the other side is Canada: used to be harmless, home of hockey and maple syrup, but now it's a treacherous back-stabbing competitor. How can you trust any country that taxes our cheese? 

So let's agree that we can't agree to hate any single nation with a united front. Perhaps if we shift our focus away from government, we'll have more luck. Drugs? Gotta be very specific there: useful by many for specific conditions and legal for recreational use in a growing list of locations, even if they can be over-prescribed and abused. Guns? The only thing stopping a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun OR why does a good guy need a gun in the first place? The Press? A vital cog in our system as defenders and practitioners of free speech, vs. master spinners of fake news and the heirs to Goebbels as Ministers of Propaganda. Fair and balanced? You decide. 

Most recently we tried out Big Tech as a whipping boy. Once seen as a symbol of all that was good and smart and egalitarian, we've come to look at them through much darker eyes. Yes, you can order a ride from Uber or a sweater from Amazon or the latest Elvis Costello single from Spotify from wherever you stand. Likewise, you can look up the on-base percentage of the ‘69 Mets or the GDP of Finland or a recipe for chocolate babka with equal ease. All that and more is there for the taking at a cost of virtually nothing, Nothing, that is, except your electronic soul, exploitable as targeted ads that materialize in front of your eyeballs whenever you look at a screen anywhere anytime. Privacy? Fuhgeddaboudit. The unicorn darlings of Apple, Amazon, Google and Facebook have morphed into The Four Horsemen of the Techopolypse. 

What's left? It's as if we're all sitting in a Roman arena, ready to stone the sinners down on the floor, and one by one those that can spin a rationale are allowed to leave the mosh pit. By the time we get to the end of the list, only a few unlucky souls are still there waiting to be pummeled. Looking down with rocks in hand, all that's left are robocallers and sexual harassers. Oh, and people who text and drive. Except when I do it. 

Spotted on a restroom wall: "Things I hate: 1) Vandalism. 2) Irony. 3) Lists." Need I say more?

-END-

Marc Wollin of Bedford hates people talking in movies. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

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