Letter #3

You know, Matthew, I never thought I would be writing this letter.  

I wrote the first when you graduated from high school. It was filled with the kind of trite if no less heartfelt wishes that any parent has for their children. It offered the observation that while we may have tried to lay a foundation, that time had passed. Whether or not you flourish and thrive going forward would likely have little to do with what we thought or said, and everything to do with what was inside of you.  

Four years later, on the occasion of that same rite of passage from college, I wrote a similar note. Like the first, I noted that my meager words then were also unlikely to have any great effect, that if you hadn't gotten the gist of how we thought you should live your life you were unlikely to suddenly have an epiphany. If you were starting out on your own at that first milepost, you were even more so at the second. Still, I said the standard for both was the same: to be able to ask yourself whatever it was, whomever it was for, if the action you were doing was the right thing. And if you could truthfully respond in the affirmative, then you had nothing further for which to answer.  

You took that to heart. You proceeded down a number of paths, some more unconventional than others, ones which required a belief in yourself that I'm sorry to say we didn't always understand. Moving immediately to your own place. Turning down an early job offer. Going off to write on an island in the Caribbean. You didn't ask for advice, but nonetheless followed ours to a "t": regardless of our doubts you did what you thought you should. In some respect I guess you could say we were hoisted by our own petard.   

Your more recent pursuits bore much the same approach. When you floated the idea of quitting a successful career to go to law school, it was a laudable goal, even if we questioned the all-in approach. And when you dovetailed that with the announcement that you had been working on a script and were about to make a feature film, we questioned your decision once again. You accepted our concern and admonishments with sincerity and poise, indeed with far greater grace than perhaps I would have. But we were successful once again in that, in spite of us, you believed in you.  

Thankfully, but probably not surprisingly, you proved us wrong again, not once but twice. In the first instance you created a film of depth and complexity, a polished professional effort that was picked up by festivals, garnered wonderful critical reviews, and was bought for distribution. We were thrilled to see you stand up in front of crowds at screenings, and be interviewed by reviewers, kicking ourselves for not believing in you from the start. Thankfully, you did, and don't hold our shortsightedness against us.  

And now, the second achievement of graduating from law school. I know you decided to go because you felt it was the credential you needed to make a difference in the things you cared about, and the experiences you've had only reinforced that decision. I have no idea where this particular adventure will lead you, but I can tell you this: I've made the mistake of questioning your approach and wound up on the wrong side of that equation far too many times. I ain't betting against this one.  

As it is for so many others, I know this is not how you envisioned the culmination of such a significant achievement. Locked down, unable to celebrate in person with family and friends, cancelling a celebratory trip: reasons to be wistful for what can't be. Still, as much as those outward trappings of your success will be missed, they are merely deferred, not forgotten. And while we can do little under the current circumstances to mark the moment, what we can do is tell you just how special it is and you are. How special? It was 100 years ago that your great grandfather graduated from the same school as you with the same degree. And I think I can say without any hesitation and with absolutely no doubt that as far as we're concerned, this is indeed one for the century.

-END-

Matthew Wollin, formerly of Bedford, graduated from NYU Law this week. His father's column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.