Holiday Shopping

You could be forgiven if you're having problems getting into the holiday gift giving spirit. After all, you're not driving anywhere so you don't see any lights and displays. You're not wandering through stores, so you don't see any Christmas sales. You've been barred from going to tree lightings, office parties and Mistletoe Marts. About the only way you know you should be thinking about it is by the banner ads that pop up every time you punch into Amazon, which, truth be told, is basically every day.

Then again, what does one give this year? With apologies to John Steinbeck, this winter will be one of our most discontented, as we wait for our number to be called versus being up. The good news is that we know how to make it to that point. While the guidelines seem to be ever evolving, none so far are so onerous as to be impossible or even difficult. Not to minimize the negative effects on society, but if your goal is to not get sick, then the inconveniences of wearing a mask, avoiding crowds and traveling only when necessary are manageable. It's not as if you have to only breathe pure oxygen, or coat yourself in Vaseline, or only eat Snickers bars. That said, I would happily do the last to stay alive.

But I digress. In this environment, what gifts will mean the most? The usual standbys don't seem to be appropriate. Sure, a new skirt or pair of pants is nice, but all one really needs are Zoom tops. Pocketbook? Briefcase? For a commute from the kitchen table to the basement? And theatre tickets, movie passes and coupons for concerts are only good if they have shelf life of at least 12 months, and even then have to be exchangeable for a later date as needed.

So what could a person use that would be new or more or different? Kitchen stuff is a winner. If the usual week night rotation of burgers, spaghetti, chicken, stir fry and sandwiches is getting old, challenge your house chef with Foodie Dice. Roll the five primary dice to come up with options on protein, cooking methods, herbs and more. Add in 4 seasonal veggie squares, and you'll have over 186,000 combinations. On the other hand, if your spouse loves that you are into cooking healthy with lots of fish but hates the constant smell of salmon, perhaps a Cranberry Marmalade scented candle would delight. And if you are like me and have to take out all the measuring cups to figure out which is which, Welcome Industries' visual measuring cups look just like what they are: a whole, half, third or quarter. Now your chef's banana bread will have just the right amount of nuts.

Whimsy is in short supply, so perhaps it would be best to amuse. Since you are spending a lot of time on the couch, perhaps a Danny DeVito pillow cover would tickle someone's fancy. To lighten the mood maybe a rubber chicken finger slingshot would be a fun diversion. Or for the gift that just says "What?!" how about sending your long-distance bestie a potato with their face on it? Not to worry: the pros at Anonymous Potato know how to center any image on a spud.

Of course we are all living on screens, so anything to make that experience better and more streamlined will likely be appreciated. A wireless mouse, a better microphone, a laptop stand; each was a nice-to-have, but now has become as indispensable as a good pair of shoes (don't need those anymore!). Then there are those items you would never have ever known about, let alone buy for your formally tech nerd other. A green screen for their video calls. A ring light to even out their harsh edges. A mesh router system for better coverage throughout your home. Because nothing says "I love you" better than having 4 bars.

Regardless what you choose, try and keep in mind the spirit of the season, and the qualities of thankfulness, gratitude and humility. Great literature can remind you of that, and can carry particular significance in these trying times. In that light, might I humbly suggest you can find no better sentiments than those contained in O Henry's masterpiece, slightly updated for today: "The Gift of the Wifi." Happy shopping.

-END-

Marc Wollin of Bedford is having a hard time finding appropriate gifts this year. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.