It is a particular curse of our time (and a true first world problem) that we have so many choices, and then lament that bounty. We don't just have one good source for movies at home, we have Netflix and Hulu and Amazon Prime and Disney Plus and and and. There are shelves in the grocery store devoted to crackers and detergents and condiments that run for multiple pushes of your shopping cart. And most recently we don't have just one vaccine to end a worldwide pandemic, but at last count four. To paraphrase the Bard, methinks we doth protest too much.
In many cases the choices exist on a level playing field, and the selection is merely a matter of personal taste. Pepsi or Coke, "Game of Thrones" or "The Crown," Honda or Toyota: each has its adherents, each its detractors. Perhaps if you cared and took the time to plot the finer points of one over the other you might be able to discern a clear winner, though it all depends on what metric you hold dear. And so while aficionados may argue which is the better selection, to large swaths of the populace the question of which peanut butter is more distinguished is, well, indistinguishable.
But there are other areas where the choices pose an either/or conundrum. Rather than picking among the better of two options, or alternatively the lesser of two evils, the alternatives represent a contradiction. As much as we'd like to find ways to balance and honor both possibilities, making a choice means choosing a side. No shading of a position, you have to decide that you will cast your lot with one camp or the other, and take the leap.
To be sure our current political environment has exacerbated this situation. With compromise reduced to being a four-letter word, you not "allowed" to offer a view that has any nuance. You are for fossil fuels or green energy, you are for closing the borders or immigration, you are for shutting the economy or opening everything up. Never mind that almost no one, either professionally or personally, is convinced that either answer is the right one. For the sake of the tribe, you are forced to come down on one side of the fence or the other, no sitting on top allowed.
You can't find a more effective demonstration of this situation than two items in the news that hit at virtually the same time. On the one hand is a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association that "sought to investigate ambulatory weight changes of a longitudinal cohort during initial shelter-in-place (SIP) orders to better understand the possible downstream health implications of prolonged SIP." In English that means they are curious just how fat we all got sitting at home near our refrigerators over the last year. As they say, your results may vary, but the survey found that adults gained approximately 1.5 pounds a month. Ten months in, and you now have scientific evidence of the quarantine 15.
On the other side of the house, on the exact same day, Krispy Kreme Doughnuts announced their "Sweet Support" campaign. Bring your vaccine card to a participating shop, and they will give you a free original glazed doughnut. For the record, that item clocks in at 190 calories, 100 of which are from fat, so one serving equals 25% of your recommended daily allotment. Note that this is available every day for the rest of the year. Also note that I could eat a dozen myself. In one sitting. And still have room for more.
So here's the conundrum. Shelter in place, avoid people, disease and transmission, help nip the virus at its source, and gain weight. Or venture out and get a vaccination, then celebrate your civic mindedness by scarfing down a free treat, contributing to our ongoing obesity epidemic. Freedom or tyranny. Socialism or capitalism. Stay home or free doughnut. The last might not sound as good being screamed by Mel Gibson in a kilt, but it is perhaps the most difficult choice of all. As for me, I will venture out, get the vaccine, and avoid the freebie. I just thank the good Lord that the offer wasn't for a free Boston Crème. Then all bets would have been off.
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Marc Wollin of Bedford likes to eat many things he shouldn't. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.
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