The Other Left

Ask someone if they are "left" or "right" and there will be no uncertainty. Sure, they might demure that they are open-minded, that they don't like being pigeonholed into one bucket, that they try to fairly evaluate the facts and use their best judgment when examining an issue. But, yes, if push comes to shove, they will allow that more or less / most of time / if you have to pick one, they are quite willing to come down solidly on one side or the other of the political spectrum. There will be no confusion.

But ask them to scroll left or right? That's another story

Good chance that more than a few will go the wrong direction. Ask someone to step to the right? Same thing. Offer directions that include "go left after the gas station?" Yup, even money that they will wind up in the wrong place. You rarely have that problem if you ask someone to "go upstairs" or "move to the front." Most head for the correct escalator or jump to the first in the row. But left/right? Not so much.

We're not talking about a physical state of affairs where there is some organic reason that a person gets confused. Such a condition does exist. A rare neurological disorder called Gerstmann Syndrome, it is caused by damage to a specific area of the brain, and often related to a stroke. The effects include difficulty writing, a lack of understanding of the rules of arithmetic, an inability to identify fingers and... wait for it... the inability to distinguish right from left.

Hopefully that's not your issue. Rather, what we're talking about is what some might call "directionally challenged." It turns out that there are many fellow (confused) travelers. About 9% of men and 17% percent of women stated that they frequently experienced left-right befuddlement in their daily lives, while some studies estimate the numbers to be as high as 30%.

There are two main reasons that we get confused. The first is that right and left shift depending on the perspective of the person. Are you giving the instruction or receiving it? If we're looking at each other, your right arm is on my left; turn around and your left is my left. On top of that, the concepts of "right" and "left" are arbitrary constructions. There are no physical laws defining one or the other. Contrast that with up and down. Hold a ball in the air, it's up. Release it and it goes down. That never changes, regardless of where you are standing, so there is no doubt which is which. But did it land to the left or right? Ahhh... there's the problem.

We see this confusion more since we spend so much time looking at screens, A person is showing you an app; they say "swipe left to accept." Are they standing in front of you or are they looking over your shoulder? And are we talking about moving the whole screen or the information on it one way or the other? Likewise, the GPS in your car. Do you have it set to match the way you are driving, or have it so that the map is oriented to true north, in which case the avatar might be going down not up. A "turn right" direction might mean the little car goes left. So you go which way?

It gets complicated even more if we are looking at selfies or on a Zoom call. Most cameras have an option called "mirror" when looking at your own image. If on, everything makes sense: your left hand is your left, your right is your right, and the part in your hair is correct. But any printed material is backwards: that tee shirt you got on vacation reads "!imaiM." Turn it off, and now all can see you were in Florida. But your left is now your right, your right is now your left, and your part popped across your head. Not a problem if you are follically challenged, though small consolation indeed.

In most cases the error is easily correctable. After all, how often have you had to say, "No, the other left" and adjust someone's movement? Unless they are standing next to a cliff, they will probably survive the tweaking. It's just one more on the list of things we thought we knew but mix we up. Socket/sprocket, concrete/cement, it's/its? Ummmm... it's definitely that one... or the other.

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Marc Wollin of Bedford thanks his friend Joel for getting confused and pointing it out. His column appears weekly via email and online on Substack and Blogspot as well as Facebook, LinkedIn and X.