The word "serendipity" generally has positive connotations, meaning to find agreeable things when you're not looking for them. It's serendipitous to stumble upon a cool restaurant when you are traveling, or to encounter an old friend when walking down the street. Indeed, we often think of it as the happenstance joining of multiple things: an experience and a journey, or a person and a place. But that confluence can also happen with things that aren't all joyful, but which somehow overlap.
While not on the same day, I have the situation right now. Three unrelated, yet somewhat linked things: a significant birthday, the death of a college friend and the anniversary of September 11. All have given me pause. As part of that I went back and read some of what I wrote to correspond with the last, an event which is seared into our memory from 25 years ago this week. At the risk of repeating myself, allow me to share part of it again. I find some of the thoughts resonate for all three events, and seem as relevant now as they did then. Perhaps you will agree.
Bob was in the revolving door of the South Tower when the first plane hit. He told me about the decisions he made that morning, most specifically taking the long way around in order to get a little extra fresh air. Likewise, Tim was walking across the north bridge at the same moment, people-watching with the spare time he had. In both cases, they confessed to being where they were because the day was so beautiful that they couldn't bring themselves to hurry to their desks. I would submit that the lesson isn't to dawdle nor to speed up. Rather, it is that life can be cut short in an instant, and you should savor the view wherever you are, wherever you're going and whatever you're doing.
In the days following the disaster, I received scores of calls and emails from Colorado to Ohio, from Japan to Australia, checking up on me, my family and mutual associates. I know how I felt when I got the communication: touched that someone was thinking of me, even people whom I barely knew. Indeed, I did much the same, reaching out to close friends, as well as those with whom I had only a passing acquaintance. Many of those I contacted spoke of the same kind of gratitude for my efforts that I had experienced. If I learned anything from that, it is that I am part of a community that I take for granted, one of which I should be far more appreciative.
As businesses began to reactivate on Monday morning, there was a sense of getting ready for battle. The scene resembled the start of any football game, with the "Star Bangled Banner" being played over shots of athletes twitching with anticipation. And yet, for most people, the importance attached to wheeling and dealing and buying and selling and office politics seemed to have diminished. One Wall Street broker put it best: no matter what the situation, nothing is so important anymore that any interaction with a client, associate, family or friend shouldn't begin with a personal conversation.
There are plenty of other lessons to take to heart. Disasters affect real people, not movie extras: the next time there is a monsoon in India or an earthquake in Japan, perhaps we'll understand that and reach out with more compassion than we've shown in the past. We need to differentiate freedom from privilege, and understand what's important. Taken another way, it's a freedom to be able to travel when and where and how we wish; it's a privilege to be able to check in 10 minutes before the flight. And no matter how stoic, how professional, how hardcore you are, you can still cry, still benefit from a hug and no one will think less of you.
I wish I could say that I took all my own advice, and lived what I wrote. In some instances, yes; in others, not so much. But if nothing else I have at least tried to better appreciate the people, places and things I am lucky enough to have. Whatever your birthday situation, I hope you try and do the same.
-END-
Marc Wollin of Bedford tries to enjoy what he has. His column appears weekly via email and online on Substack and Blogspot as well as Facebook, LinkedIn and X.
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