When you got your first cell phone, what's the first thing you did? Sure, you called your mom, your best friend and your spouse, and said "you won't believe where I'm calling you from!" But after that you started shopping. You needed a case, a charger, a screen protector, things which you not only never needed before, but which you didn't even knew existed before.
Since that time your phone has become as much a part of your everyday carry as your wallet or your keys. But now there is a new "must have" accoutrement, whether you are dressing up or down, going to the store or office, meeting with friends or family. Not the latest piece of high-tech gadgetry, but rather the most low-tech of solutions that cuts across every divide we have, from race to income, gender to religion, region to nationality. Whether you like it or not, at least for the foreseeable future, your every outfit will be accessorized by a mask.
Much has been written about the best kind to have, whether surgical grade or HEPA filter-capable or full-on respirator. Experts are divided, but the prevailing wisdom is the best one is the one you will wear the longest. After all, if you keep it dangling around your neck, it's more fashion than function. In this case doing something is more important than doing nothing, even if your solution is more Lone Ranger than Darth Vader.
Beyond that, if you're going to make a piece of cloth part of your life, what can you do to make it you? If in the beginning function was all the counted, we've now moved on to making a statement. After all, the face of the mask is, well, your face. Whether it is demonstrating your support for your favorite team, your love of flowers or your goal of being a Mandalorian, it is the new first impression people have of you when you finally reconnect in person. And woe to the guy sporting a Yankees logo on his kisser when he walks into a Mets meeting.
But beyond the mask itself, a whole cottage industry has sprung up to accessorize the accessory. To be clear, you should be wearing it whenever the situation warrants. Still, a gal has got to take a sip of water now and again. Do you let it dangle from an ear or bunch around your neck? If you're of a mind, perhaps a mask necklace would be of help. Like a similar sling for your glasses, it hangs your mask around your neck where it's easily retrievable. They are available in almost every material imaginable, from silver to leather to silk, and decorated with pearls, stones and other shiny stuff. The biggest issue, especially if you do indeed do the same with your glasses, is not strangling yourself.
Or maybe you hate the pressure masks put on your ears. If that's your headache, so to speak, you might consider an ear protector. These devices stretch across the back of your head, and the ear loops attach to it, increasing the comfort factor. If you are a glasses wearer, you can get small "mask mates" to put on the earpieces, so you can attach to mask to them vs to you. They come in every conceivable design, from flowers to the Bat Signal to my personal favorite, mini-donuts.
And when it's not on your face? There are pouches to keep yours clean when it's in your pocket or purse. There are clips to hang them from your sun visor as you drive between wearings. And there are organizers to hang by your door at home, bringing the same order to your collection as you do your car keys.
Is all this necessary? After all, once we get the virus under control, whether it's in 6 months or a year, all those masks and their accompaniments will be thrown out or relegated to a bottom drawer. On the other hand, experts say that another pandemic is not a possibility but a probability, with the question being not if but when. Or as a writer wrote about his weekly column, you can look at it as if we're standing under a windmill: just when you are happy to have ducked a blade and stand up, you realize that there's another right behind it coming for your head.
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Marc Wollin of Bedford prefers masks that go over his head. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.
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