The usual tells mean nothing.
When you met a person, whether you admitted it or not, you made your initial judgments about them based on a whole host of superficial traits. What were their clothes like? Were they stylish, well coordinated, nicely cut? Likewise, other aspects of their appearance factored in: their hair, their physical bearing, their makeup. All added up to a first impression that you spent the rest of your time together either confirming or rebutting.
None of that matters anymore. That's because all of your interactions for the last 3 months with people have been through the tiny lens perched above your screen. And as Jetson-esque as that turns out to be, it is also one filled with severe limitations. Half the world seems to be living in sweats or lounge wear. Shoes? Anybody's guess if you even have them on. No one's hair looks good. At least a third have cameras looking up their noses. And grainy video makes everyone have soft features, foundation not needed.
And so we assess those on the screen based upon the only thing we can actually see, a person's physical surroundings. And what a change that is. Formerly most studiously avoiding mixing personal and professional: your home was a private world that you allowed only a very few to glimpse. You might drop a casual reference, intentional or not, about some new furnishings or a fresh paint job, but no one at work ever got to actually see it. You could play it, up, down or sideways, and no one could call you on it.
Until now. If how you look has come to mean nothing, how your abode looks now means everything. Your taste in art, in books, in furniture, is on display for all to see. Unless you've positioned yourself to sit against a blank wall, your environment now counts as almost the only external personification of your personality. But it's not as if the world judges you by that in any way that - wait - who are we kidding - you bet they do.
When that video first pops up on the screen, the others on your call look over your immediate surroundings as if they are wandering through Ikea. That couch looks comfy. Not sure I like that poster. I would have a different comforter on the bed. What is that thing on the shelf over her shoulder? What a weird lamp. Not that you're being evaluated or anything.
And that's the static stuff. By now we've all made some kind of detente with the other residents of our spaces to STAY OUT WHEN I'M ON A CALL. Of course this being real life it doesn't always work that way. Kids and dogs do wander through or yell out at the worst possible moment, in most cases providing a minor and amusing distraction. And lest your think it happens just in your little closed world, there are multiple instances posted online where professionals got interrupted, including one that resulted in a recent dressing down that PBS's Amy Walter gave her "staff" when they made a ruckus while she was on air from her home.
As for me, I'm working on shifting some stuff around in my office. And whereas before I would have never cared what anyone thought besides me, now I am taking into consideration the image I want to project to the world. Do the classic album covers I have on the wall speak to my musical tastes or to my age? Does the old computer and tech gear I have back there give me nerd cred or mark me as a packrat? And what about the books on the bookshelf? Do the travel guides mark me as worldly? Are the old Boy Scout handbooks conversation starters or show I'm stuck in the past? Can I hide the box of old wires behind the couch? If I took this much care getting dressed I'd never leave the house.
Mark Twain asked, "Is it, perhaps, possible that there are two kinds of Civilization - one for home consumption and one for the heathen market?" Put another way, you have a choice: make your place comfortable for you, or make it just look that way. And don't forget to lock the door.
-END-
Marc Wollin of Bedford is deciding which books to put behind him. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.
When you met a person, whether you admitted it or not, you made your initial judgments about them based on a whole host of superficial traits. What were their clothes like? Were they stylish, well coordinated, nicely cut? Likewise, other aspects of their appearance factored in: their hair, their physical bearing, their makeup. All added up to a first impression that you spent the rest of your time together either confirming or rebutting.
None of that matters anymore. That's because all of your interactions for the last 3 months with people have been through the tiny lens perched above your screen. And as Jetson-esque as that turns out to be, it is also one filled with severe limitations. Half the world seems to be living in sweats or lounge wear. Shoes? Anybody's guess if you even have them on. No one's hair looks good. At least a third have cameras looking up their noses. And grainy video makes everyone have soft features, foundation not needed.
And so we assess those on the screen based upon the only thing we can actually see, a person's physical surroundings. And what a change that is. Formerly most studiously avoiding mixing personal and professional: your home was a private world that you allowed only a very few to glimpse. You might drop a casual reference, intentional or not, about some new furnishings or a fresh paint job, but no one at work ever got to actually see it. You could play it, up, down or sideways, and no one could call you on it.
Until now. If how you look has come to mean nothing, how your abode looks now means everything. Your taste in art, in books, in furniture, is on display for all to see. Unless you've positioned yourself to sit against a blank wall, your environment now counts as almost the only external personification of your personality. But it's not as if the world judges you by that in any way that - wait - who are we kidding - you bet they do.
When that video first pops up on the screen, the others on your call look over your immediate surroundings as if they are wandering through Ikea. That couch looks comfy. Not sure I like that poster. I would have a different comforter on the bed. What is that thing on the shelf over her shoulder? What a weird lamp. Not that you're being evaluated or anything.
And that's the static stuff. By now we've all made some kind of detente with the other residents of our spaces to STAY OUT WHEN I'M ON A CALL. Of course this being real life it doesn't always work that way. Kids and dogs do wander through or yell out at the worst possible moment, in most cases providing a minor and amusing distraction. And lest your think it happens just in your little closed world, there are multiple instances posted online where professionals got interrupted, including one that resulted in a recent dressing down that PBS's Amy Walter gave her "staff" when they made a ruckus while she was on air from her home.
As for me, I'm working on shifting some stuff around in my office. And whereas before I would have never cared what anyone thought besides me, now I am taking into consideration the image I want to project to the world. Do the classic album covers I have on the wall speak to my musical tastes or to my age? Does the old computer and tech gear I have back there give me nerd cred or mark me as a packrat? And what about the books on the bookshelf? Do the travel guides mark me as worldly? Are the old Boy Scout handbooks conversation starters or show I'm stuck in the past? Can I hide the box of old wires behind the couch? If I took this much care getting dressed I'd never leave the house.
Mark Twain asked, "Is it, perhaps, possible that there are two kinds of Civilization - one for home consumption and one for the heathen market?" Put another way, you have a choice: make your place comfortable for you, or make it just look that way. And don't forget to lock the door.
-END-
Marc Wollin of Bedford is deciding which books to put behind him. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.
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