House Guy

If you own a house, you know this simple truth: stuff breaks. Every room under your roof contains the possibility, nay, the probability, of something going south, even the roof itself. While the smart money is on it happening in the kitchen most often, the bathroom, garage or even family room could be ground zero for issues. If the structure or item in question has a few years on it, then there is an increasing chance of failure as the clock ticks. But even new does not mean immune. We've all had the experience of having a just installed faucet start leaking the second the guy gets in his truck and turns out of the driveway.

With a little luck, the item or issue in question might be repairable with a minimum of fuss. In the simplest instance you just bang on it, or turn it off and on, and all is right again. In the issue is more egregious, and if you have some aptitude and some basic tools, it still might just be an inconvenience. Perhaps a new plug or tightening a fitting or replacing the handle will solve the problem. Then it's some helpful videos on YouTube, a quick trip the hardware store for a few parts, and hopefully you are good to go.

Unfortunately it is not always that simple. Just as sometimes your eyes are bigger than your stomach, so too can your problem be bigger than your aptitude to fix it. Sure, it looks like a simple repair and the video makes it look so easy. But wade in and you may find that the subtleties are more than you bargained for. I speak from experience. In our old home I thought a slow running drain required a simple opening of the U joint under the sink and some cleaning out. My “simple fix” turned into the need for a visit by a professional and over $1000 in time and materials. Simple indeed.

Which of course leads to the third type of repair, the kind where it's best to call a pro in any one of a myriad of subspecialties. It might be someone to handle an electrical issue or a water leak, an appliance repair or a gutter problem, one who knows wood floors or heating systems. Often this means a call to a company that specializes in those various genres, from plumbing to electrical to roofing. Hopefully you get a helpful office manager who slots you into a schedule like a doctor's office, although the appointment is less likely to be a given hour certain than a window of opportunity. And then on Tuesday before noon or between three and eight a skilled tech shows up to make you whole again.

Just as likely, though, you have a Guy. Yes, it's sexist, but it seems that most Guys are guys. These are craftsmen who work as individuals rather than join a firm. They cultivate long term customer relationships, and likely know your air conditioning system better than you do. You treat a good Guy like a cross between a member of your family and a potential mate. You leave the house open for them, offer them coffee when they come, and guard their phone numbers like your bank account. As good as they are, you hesitate to give out their contact info too often lest they not be available when you need them. But if asked you extoll them like a trophy spouse, waxing rhapsodically about your Electrical Guy, your Appliance Guy, your Painting Guy, or your Plumber (in that case the Guy is silent).

If you are lucky you find a House Guy. This is a handyman who can do almost all, from fixing a rotting board to replacing a light fixture to unclogging a gutter. Some have restrictions: one won't touch pipes, another hates to go on roofs. But their utility player status elevates House Guys to first name basis. For years we had Vinny. Once he retired, my wife asked around and some friends thought enough of our relationship to introduce us to Hugo. Now he is our first call for anything that seems like it would be best if I didn't try and help. 

His number? Sorry, I don't think we know you well enough to share.  I mean, he is our Guy.

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Marc Wollin of Bedford is Ok making simple electrical repairs, but avoids pipes. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.