Saturday, March 02, 2019

Call Me Maybe

Fifteen years ago if you opened my backpack you would have found a handful of electronic devices to enable me to run my business and my life. There was a flip phone so I could make calls, a PDA with my calendar and address book, a GPS to use in my car, a beeper to activate my answering machine and a camera so I could take pics. The internet was in its infancy; looking stuff up remotely was a pipe dream. Each of those boxes worked well enough to enable me to more or less function outside of my office. Combine all those into one unit? Either delusional or laughable. 

Today, of course, we carry a single device that does all those things and more, enabling us to do everything on the road, and in many cases, even easier than at home. That said, my wish list hasn't gotten any longer. I still want to make phone calls. Not conference or video, just simply dial a number and talk to the person on the other end. I want to be able look up some information on a person in my address book, maybe their kid's name, the last project we worked on together or the address of their office. I want to be able to look at my calendar, and see where I need to be tomorrow and the day after that. Beyond those basic officey functions I want to be able check my email and texts, look up some random information on the internet, use a mapping program to get me from here to there, and maybe snap a pic or two.

And my phone does that. And more. Way more. It is a ticket wallet and a music player. It lets me read the newspaper and carry hundreds of books of my choosing. It has a calculator, a voice recorder and an app to find parking places. I'm not a game player, but if I were there are hundreds, even thousands of programs to waste my time. And while I watch the occasional video on it, it is also capable of storing and letting me watch "Gone with the Wind," as long as I don't mind the burning of Atlanta on a 5-inch screen. 

Steve Jobs famously said "People don't know what they want until you show it to them." That may be, but the market says they've shown us quite enough. Phone sales are down, driven in part by adding features no one wants, and just as importantly, price tags that no wants to pay. 

But it would seem "they" are not listening. Last week Samsung rolled out 4 new phones. One model has 3 cameras built in. Supposedly this helps automate making the background out of focus and the foreground in focus. However, since most people use their phones to take quick snapshots or selfies to which they add cat ears, seems a little overkill. Yet another of the new phones was foldable. Twice as thick as the one you are carrying now, it opens to become a mini tablet. That makes it too big for your pocket when folded, with a screen that is both too big and too small when unfolded. It's like an all-weather coat that really doesn't keep you dry nor warm. 

Phones have gotten so gimmicky and complicated that someone has even resurrected the Palm brand and created a mini phone about the size of a credit card that enables you to just do the basics. The idea is that you keep your "regular" phone in your backpack or purse, and keep this one handy to check calls and texts. There's a small wrist holder so it's always at the ready, or a tiny Kate Spade custom clutch to hold it in style. 

Not interested. Here's where I am at: if mine breaks, I'll buy a new one. I expect that the innards will get faster and last longer on a single charge, and that might tempt me. If they roll out 5G or 7G or GigaG and I need that to connect, I guess I'll have no choice. And if someone invents a new technology that enables my phone to cook dinner or do the laundry or vacuum the family room, count me in. But other than that? Memo to Samsung and Apple and Motorola: enough already.

-END-

Marc Wollin of Bedford doesn't use half the apps on his phone. His column appears regularly in The Record-Review, The Scarsdale Inquirer and online at http://www.glancingaskance.blogspot.com/, as well as via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

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